"If not me, who? If not now, when?"

"If not me, who? If not now, when?" I was re-watching Emma Watson's HeforShe campaign speech the other day and those words really struck me. Not only are they perfectly applicable for Emma's speech in reference to her own ability to create positive change in the world- but they are applicable to all of us. Sometime's I doubt that what I am doing matters. That is one of my fears- being unimportant, not mattering, and having no ability to make a difference no matter how hard I try. I already wrote a post about 'my biggest fear' which you can read here, but I've been thinking, as people sometimes do, and there is more I would like to share with you. (Thanks for reading by the way, I hope you're having a great day. Also, your hair looks especially great today).

There are people all over the world, and certainly in ever corner of the interweb who are making great strides in the 'do something' department, and they certainly matter. They are making positive change through their YouTube videos, Blogs, Vlogs, Instagrams, and even through their 140 character tweets. Check out such an inspiring human here, a lovely lady here, and a wise person here. They have said something, they did not back down, and they know that at least one person will be positively affected by their decision to 'do something'.
Now I keep saying 'do something', but I haven't actually told you what 'something' is. Guess what? It's whatever the hell you want. That might sound obnoxiously philosophical, but take it at face value. My 'something' was my little internet 'nest', this blog. It is a safe, carefully constructed home, each twig chosen carefully and nervously put into place for all to see where I store my most treasured thoughts, beauty products, favorites, fears, and dreams. Although I know that some people may find this whole blog self centered, obnoxious, presumptuous, and poorly done... #whatever. I was inspired by people on the internet, encouraged by complete strangers, supported by friends, and told by so many books, poems, songs, and my Mother to do what makes you happy. This makes me so incredibly happy!! Working hard on something, typing away when I feel inspired, my brain racing ahead of my fingers- always leaving them a step behind, and making the final edits on something I feel proud of, hitting the 'publish' button, and sharing it with all of you. (Again, thanks for reading, your eyebrows are on fleek today.) When I started this whole thing in May of 2014, I honestly thought that a few friends would read it, my Mom would tell me how cute I am, and my Grandparents would conquer the internet to read my posts. And they did! Except there was more than that.... people actually liked what I was doing. Some even said that my words made their day better, that it helped them feel less alone, and that they could relate to my most personal fears that I had made so vulnerable. Each person who encouraged me, supported me, or even told me that they bought a mascara I recommended made me feel like the "Grinch whose small heart grew 3 sizes that day".

But that's whatever, right? I'm one human in the universe, not the prettiest girl, not the smartest, not the most creative...so why do my posts matter? Who even cares? and yet.... 
I know that each act of kindness matters, I know that recycling matters, I know that giving your all matters- so why shouldn't I matter? I have been letting my worries speak louder than my wishes. I do matter, and my little online nest does too. You will see a new post once a week, and I will do my best to only share entertaining, authentic, and meaningful content that I am proud of.  

“She wasn’t a person to whom things happen. She did all the happenings.”– Muriel Spark, Aiding and Abetting

With love and happenings,

Sarah Belle