25 things I've learned in 25 years

I couldn't sleep on Tuesday night and did what anyone (I hope) might do, I stalked myself on Instagram. I landed on my birthday post from 2017. A peek into Sarah at 23: "This year has been incredibly transformational for me, and I am in the midst of the biggest transition of my life- from home to my own. New York. This list includes things I learned long before this past year, but have become top of mind to me in this year especially. I wrote them in under 10 minutes, so there is no order, organization, or theme but I suppose that's life for you. I loved writing it." 

Everything I wrote then still applies (wear sunscreen people!!), and I'm just a few months post move 2.0. Back in California, this time with a San Francisco zip code. I wrote these 25 things quickly from my bed in my small room on Union St at bit past 12am. The things I've learned feel a bit heavier than they did at 23, but they also ring very true. 

25 things I have learned in 25 years 

1. Write down all your ideas, it’s the best way to get the good ones to stick and the bad ones to melt away 
2. Walk to or from work whenever possible, you always feel better after 
3. Don’t beat yourself up about buying a latte every day before work, but you really shouldn't make it a habit 
4. Flossing is your friend 
5. Under eye cream is great for your lips and lips need SPF like everything else!
6. 25 is about damn time to start using more natural products. Yes, it’s worth it 
7. Periodically clearing out old photos from your phone is a lovely mental cleanse, but don’t just delete or just dwell 
8. You are likely going to have many more years of big change to come- don’t confuse that with instability or a lack of progress. Pivots still mean forward motion! 
9. It’s always the right decision to be the person who gives up their seat on the bus or Bart 
10. Not being able to explain how or why you feel something does not make it any less valid- you’ll figure it out or it will pass 
11. The Mari Kondo folding method WORKS & drawer cubes WORK 
12. You will always feel better after yoga, but it’s ok to have an off day and fall over in the middle of class
13. No one is looking at you on the bus (probably) so chill out already 
14. You don’t need to like everyone, and everyone doesn’t need to like you (still working on this but I know it’s true)
15. You need to make plans to not have plans
16. It is hard work to figure out who you are- luckily most people haven’t done it yet, so stop thinking that they have and you’re behind 
17. Finish a product or bottle or consumable good before you buy the next one. Unless it’s probiotics, then always have back up 
18. Handwritten notes are still, and always will be, the best 
19. It’s ok for engagement and wedding posts to freak you out a bit, but their happiness does not diminish the power of yours 
20. There is nothing scary about baked goods or butter- never feel guilty for eating what you want or crave. There is no “worth it”. 
21. There is a difference between caution and skepticism. Always be optimistic but cautious when you need to be- there’s a way to be both 
22. You really do need to salt pasta water. A lot. 
23. ~signs~ really are a thing, but you don’t need to take them at face value 
24. Hydration is quite literally the key to everything 
25. As it turns out, your life really can change in a minute 

Eggs

There’s a scene in Runaway Bride where in Richard Gere’s big rom com speech to Julia Roberts he accuses her of not knowing how she likes her eggs. He says you just conform and ‘have what he’s having’ (he being her current fiancé) and, as such, she doesn’t actually know who she is. So as any rom com heroine would do, she goes through a montage of cooking and tasting each type of egg there is. Then in her big rom com speech to Richard Gere she triumphantly declares “I love eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind”. And that’s that! Self, considered yourself discovered. What I’m trying to say is, if only everything were eggs.

There is no doubt that I’ve been a bad decision maker in my day. It’s pretty classic Sarah to debate between two flavors of ice-cream (rocky road or coffee) and then panic at the last minute and order something totally different (rainbow sherbet). Ice cream is a pretty harmless example, but it’s not an isolated one. I struggle to make choices, especially ones that are relatively insignificant. What color dress should I buy? Where do you want to go to dinner? Do I actually like these shoes? Sure, none of those choices are do or die, but I know that really this inability to decide and say what I want are superficial signs of not actually knowing myself very well. Besides, it annoys the hell out of the people in my life. Especially because my default is ‘whatever you want!” in response to most questions, even when do have an opinion. Issue being, I would rather avoid conflict than get what I think I want. I say think because truthfully I’m probably not sure if Thai food IS what I want for dinner.

I read an article recently that centered around the term ‘confusion’, based on advice for someone who was the victim of another person’s confusion/inaction/laziness/selfishness. I happen to have a foot in both camps, both the confused person and the one who has felt totally vulnerable waiting on someone else to make up their mind about me. It’s not fair either way. In the article the author suggests to not tolerate confusion until the “guy walks straight up to you and uses his words to say: “I want to be your boyfriend and nothing else will do”. Damn. I react so strongly to other people’s declarations, yet I STRUGGLE to do the same, even down to silly things. “Just tell me what you want” is something I’ve gotten multiple times, and god I wish I could. This brings me back full circle to the first issue of not really knowing myself well enough to know what I want to begin with.

I’m rambling, let’s bring it back to eggs. The eggs formula is a two part success: 1. methodically going through choices with an unbiased view 2. when you decide what you want you actually share it and act on it. “I love eggs Benedict, I hate every other kind.” Even with a script like she has, I’m not sure I could do it for fear of being rejected, being wrong, or regretting it. We're back to square one. 

So friends, I wish I could tie this up in a nice little bow with a solution on top, but I can’t. I wish I could say wake up each morning, look in the mirror and repeat “I like my eggs *insert your preference here*” but honestly, I think I would just end up hungry. Here is what I can do. I’m going to try and break things down like Julia Roberts did with her eggs. I’m not talking ice cream flavors here (boy would that hold up a line) but the bigger things. Write down everything involved in the decision, rank importance, and then practice saying out loud what it is that makes it important to you. But note, you don’t have to justify your opinions to anyone else.

The other thing I’m going to do is to try and stop asking for help on these decisions, and really listen to my gut and my own logic. I fall into the trap of letting someone else’s opinion lead mine, and it devalues my opinions- even if they don’t mean it that way and even if I asked for their input to begin with. I need to be the one scrambling the eggs and living with the results. Fine, fine enough with the egg metaphors.

Moral of the story is listen to yourself. Your voice manifests in many different ways and it will get quieter and quieter if no one is listening to it.  Find people who you feel comfortable flexing this new decision muscle with and treat them to some ice cream for being patient with you. Saying thank you to them instead of sorry will get you far, but that’s a memo for another day.

With love and whisks,

Sarah Belle

23 things I learned in 23 years

I have seen a few varieties of this concept, and they always strike me as intimately individual yet still so relatable. I walk away having learned a whole list of new things about the world and the person who wrote about them, and it inspired me to give it a try this year for my 23rd birthday. This year has been incredibly transformational for me, and I am in the midst of the biggest transition of my life- from home to my own. New York. This list includes things I learned long before this past year, but have become top of mind to me in this year especially. I wrote them in under 10 minutes, so there is no order, organization, or theme but I suppose that's life for you. I loved writing it. 

1. Wear sunscreen everyday.
2. Take multivitamins & probiotics.
3. A bottle of water, a banana, and a nap solve most problems.
4. Dairy hurts you, but sometimes it's worth it #balance.
5. Buy it if you love it.
6. Don't buy it if you question it.
7. It doesn't cost a thing to pay someone a compliment.
8. Making your bed is the easiest way to start the day with intention and calm.
9. You really don't need to wash your hair everyday.
10. The world looks brighter after taking a walk outside.
11. Take zinc to ward off a cold!!
12. Smiling at strangers is almost always a good idea, Mom was right.
13. Always carry a bandaid, Excendrin, and a tampon with you.
14. Beer really isn't so bad...
15. A perfectly crafted playlist makes all the difference.
16. 'Home' must haves: cookbooks, candles, living plants & people.
17. Watching Forrest Gump must be an annual tradition.
18. Listening to 'every teardrop is a waterfall' will always make you feel better.
19. Singing will calm you down when you're nervous.
20. You need at least 7 hours of sleep to function properly.
21. There is no shame in saying 'no, thank you' if you don't want to- 'lame' be damned!
22. Planning is everything- with money, friends, & grocery shopping but it isn't the be all, end all. 
23. Not knowing something is not a sign of weakness, it is a chance to prove you care enough to learn.

With love and candles, 

Sarah Belle

Sundays with Sarah: Book club for one

I'm finding so much comfort in print these days. Pretty paintings, elegant poems, dreamy magazines, and thought provoking books. Feeling the pages slipping between my fingers versus swiping and taping away at a screen just feels right at the moment, and I'm rolling with it. Here are a few things I am reading, have read, or simply like having on my bedside table to make me feel cool.
Everything pairs well with a comfy bed/couch/coffee shop and a warm mug of whatever your heart desires. 

 

Modern Romance, Aziz Ansari: This book is a perfect balance between science and comedy. Ansari presents straight up facts and stats with a comedic charm that is both entertaining and approachable. His observations are so personal yet so damn applicable to my life that I find myself nodding in agreement while I'm reading, a true crash course in love in the digital age. Spoiler alert: love is hard, but it can be funny and beautiful too. 
“That’s the thing about the Internet: It doesn’t simply help us find the best thing out there; it has helped to produce the idea that there is a best thing and, if we search hard enough, we can find it. And in turn there are a whole bunch of inferior things that we’d be foolish to choose.” 

Olive Kitterage, Elizabeth Strout: One character weaves her way through 13 separate stories, each of them completely individual yet so heartbreakingly real. Olive Kitterage is a beautiful book that inspects the drama of the human condition from many angles, all of them rooted in empathy and perspective. 
"But Henry was pretty irritating himself, with his steadfast way of remaining naive, as though life were just what a Sears catalogue told you it was: everyone standing around smiling.”

Brave Enough, Cheryl Strayed: A collection of her own quotes, mainly on the themes of love, forgiveness, and fear. Seems like everything in life somehow comes back to those three themes. This is a perfect coffee table or bedside book because it takes minimal brain power to get value from it, plus I dare you to try and not have some kind of introspective moment when reading thoughtful quotes. There is a sappy little heart inside of all of us!
“Don't surrender all your joy for an idea you used to have about yourself that isn't true anymore." 

East of Eden, John Steinbeck: I had to include this as East of Eden will be in my book club forever. My favorite book of all time, I can flip to any page to escape to Salinas for a chapter or two of peace. This is proof that sometimes you really should listen to your high school english teacher (except about The Last of the Mohicans, that book was just awful). 
“But the Hebrew word, the word timshel—‘Thou mayest’— that gives a choice. It might be the most important word in the world. That says the way is open. That throws it right back on a man. For if ‘Thou mayest’—it is also true that ‘Thou mayest not.”

Vogue & Harpers Bazaar: Two very different magazines, but I love them both for the excitement they bring each month when they land on my doorstep. The silky pages, gorgeous images and powerful juxtaposition between a seemingly superficial industry and female empowerment inspires and fascinates me. 


What I'm wearing:
Leggings: Gap Performance Cotton Colorblock leggings
Sweater: Old Navy Open-front Cardi

With love and papercuts,

Sarah Belle

Up next: Gap Inc Rotational Management Program

The who: Moi

The what: Rotational Management Program Trainee

The where: San Francisco, CA

The when: October 10th 2016- July 2017

The year of waiting is over, here goes everything. There are so many words, emotions, thoughts, and over analyzations happening in my brain right now so I will just settle for YAY!

Get my look:

Overalls: 1969 Denim Flare Overalls in White 

Tshirt: Classic Logo Tee in Grey Marl

Jacket: 1960 Raw Hem Denim Jacket

Necklace: Anthropologie, similar here

Nails: Sable Collar Essie

With love and pride,

Sarah Belle

Winter '16 through my iPhone

Yes, I know this is a little pretentious but we're going for it!! I made a little movie montage of the season of Winter, 2016. Winter is loosely defined here, less of the actual months of winter and more what winter term is (or was??) at school. What you will see here is January, February, and March packed into under 4 minutes of footage.
I didn't consciously do this, but the moments I captured weren't necessarily highlights. There are hugely important events that I didn't capture on film... but tbd on whether or not that is a disappointment. Being truly present captures memories on its own. This little compilation of clips is something organic, unplanned, and most definitely edited by an amateur.  
One of my favorite things about this little nest is how well it captures me in the moment. It is such a helpful self reflection tool that serves as inspiration, nostalgia and historian all at once. These videos are capturing life so authentically during a year of such dramatic change- there is much reminiscing to be done already! Soon (vague as can be) I hope to publish Spring, Summer, and Fall leading up to New Years 2017. 
Click on the picture below to see through my iphone's eyes.

With love and nostaglia,

Sarah Belle

Cabana Surf & Turf: A Summer Solstice Party

I had a pretty awesome childhood. I grew up with a swing AND a treehouse in the backyard, two younger brothers to mess with, and wonderful, adventurous parents. I was even forced to do swim team and take piano lessons, a right of passage if you ask any Bay Area kid. I actually was lucky enough to not only have two parents who raised me, but a whole Sleepy Hollow village. Around our block lived some of my parent's best friends, whose kids ended up being my best friends, and who surrounded me with support and the loudest cheerleading squad a girl could ever want (or be embarrassed by). As I've gotten older I have leaned on this community more and more, and I am inspired by my many Moms and Dads everyday. They are strong, driven, caring, entertaining, fierce partiers, and always bring out the best in each other, and in me.

This night was a celebration of many of their birthdays and I was lucky enough to fill the last seat at the table. Enjoy this little photo timeline from the first bottle popped, to lobster surgery, to the aftermath of a messy table and sticky fingers that is the sure sign of a good time. 

My lovely Mother designed and executed the table with me, her willing sidekick. Mama, the table was stunning and as always you gave 110% to even the most minute details. From flowers in the napkin rings to the squeeze and back rub you give during a hug, the details are what make everything you do so special. Dad and the boys built the cabana from the ground up, a pretty apt representation of the role Dad plays in our life. Daddy you design, create, and reinforce even the most challenging of projects whether they be big or small. Thank you for always doing whatever it takes with a smile on your face to make the perfect party come together, and make your girls happy. 

Cheers to many more years!

Table decor: Hydrangea collection from Sur la Table: napkins / bowl / placemats

Dinner: Orzo salad / steak & lobster / arugula salad / asparagus wrapped in prosciutto / 'Bundtinis' 

With love and lobster,

Sarah Belle