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Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Swimming and the anti bucket list

"When life gets you down do you know what you've gotta do? Just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

Lately I feel like I've been stuck in the 'just keep swimming' mentality coined by everyone's favorite forgetful fish, Dory. In this scene of Finding Nemo Dory is telling Marlin to 'just keep swimming' down through the darkness to the deep depths of the ocean in the hope of finding a diver's mask and Marlin's only hope of finding his son. I'm praying you didn't actually need that mini synopsis because you have seen (and love) the movie, but if you haven't please 1. Reevaluate your priorities and 2. Abandon everything and go watch Finding Nemo.
My life isn't quite as dramatic as swimming across the ocean in search of a lost family member, but I have felt a bit in the dark lately. Just like being underwater, I feel pressure closing in around me and the unknown darkness seems pretty endless. This 'swimming' isn't necessarily a bad thing, but it is also not a peaceful place to be and doesn't inspire me. I blame everything but myself for this; that my computer is broken, my work hours too long, and my exhaustion too great. However the reality is I need to taste my own medicine and reevaluate my priorities just like you fools who haven't seen Finding Nemo.

When I was abroad I came to realize how great I have it at home. I have a wonderful family and friend base, people who missed me and people who make me a better person. Not everyone can say that and I am truly (un-sarcastically) #blessed. I live in a gorgeous part of the world and I have the privilege to explore it and accomplish amazing things because I want to, not because I have to. While abroad I wrote lists of things I was going to do, old friends I was going to see, recipes to try and road trips to take. Yet here I am, 49 days into summer, and I have accomplished almost none of these things. Intervention time.

Fun fact about me: I have a mysterious issue with the term 'bucket list'. It irks me and I couldn't tell you exactly why. Maybe it's an existential annoyance with the idea that people think they need to check of accomplishments before they die to be happy. Maybe it's that the bucket list term gets used for short periods of time like study abroad, summer, or senior year of college where you hopefully don't plan on 'kicking the bucket'. Or maybe it's the fact that some people include ridiculous things like "Eat McDonalds in all 50 states" on their list that get me but it does. Long winded rant over. My point being: I don't want to call this list a 'bucket list' and the word 'resolution' doesn't quite fit so I am going to call this list what it is.


"A list of things that would make me very happy and proud if I accomplished them this summer" 
(A.L.T.T.W.M.M.V.H.P.I.A.T.T.S. for short)

1. Prioritize my workouts: run, hike, play tennis... just get OUTSIDE at least 4 times a week. 
2. Be mindful of my relationship with food: plan, buy and cook with purpose and balance.
3. Plan something to look forward to each week: reach out, connect, explore. 
4. Blog every week: Keep the creative juices flowing, write with dedication and don't forget that you love doing this.
5. Finality always scared me. Goal #5 is TBA

So there you have it. I'm trying awfully hard to find pride in what I am doing, and pride in myself. Hopefully this anti-bucket list will get me to a place of balance and hopefully it inspired some of you. At the very least I hope it inspired you to watch Finding Nemo. 



With love and lists,
Sarah Belle

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